Her Smoky Breaths
by The Pokester
Summary: She liked the acid taste. It helps her recover from her past. He can't understand how she became the person she is today. He misses her. But it's too late.


**Warning. There will be use of 'derogatory' terms. Aka swear words. Also it's smoker!Erza. Beware.**

* * *

She held the cigarette within her fingers, inhaling slowly with each puff. Her eyes seemed dead, lifeless, as she slowly placed the cigarette back into her mouth. Her scarlet hair flowed with the wind, and she just sat there, by the riverside.

It was years since he last seen her, years since, he had married Juvia. Honestly, he was happy. But most parts of him regrets his decision, and he should have been there, for her instead. After the breakup, he moved on with Juvia, she moved on with Jellal. But for now, both of their lovers were nowhere to be seen.

"Jellal isn't treating you well?" He managed to croak out.

Her head whipped to the source of the noise, and now he finally saw how lifeless those eyes are. The bright amber haze now gone and replaced with piercing black dust. They seemed tired, exhausted yet empty of any emotion.

She took another puff out of her cigarette and snapped it in half with her fingers. Getting rid of the burning embers in the grass below. She let out a sigh.

"He's a sweetheart, real lovely. But he knows." With that, she laughed bitterly and explained to him that she broke it off. They were fuck buddies basically. He was there for her when she needed it but they both understood that it wasn't the right time yet. She was still coping. Jellal provided the comfort and warmth she needed, but the scarlet haired beauty craved more than just that.

"Since when did you smoke?" He asked with obvious distaste and shuffled uncomfortably under her overwhelming gaze. He noticed the lighter in her purse and the cigarette pack in her hands. He can't read the expression on her face.

"When I started smoking or the reason to is of no concern to you. After all, who the fuck did you think it was that first left? You obviously don't care."

"I know you, you don't smoke. You like cake. That was your thing."

"That person is gone. These cigarettes-" She paused, and fumbled around with the pack in her hands, "Kept me going. Kept me up for the next day. Unlike you."

"Erza-" He was about to apologize, give her the reasons, and hoped to the goodness that still lived in her heart that she would forgive him. But he was interrupted.

"You killed her. You killed the woman I was before." She smiled, cold and lifeless, and raised her head to the sky. As if to say she wasn't going to acknowledge him anymore. "Get out. Get the fuck out."

He didn't know what to do. He came here to get something nice for Juvia. But he was distracted as soon as he saw Erza by the riverside. She looked beautiful. She still is. But she was haunted. He should've known. It was his fault. But his pride kept him in the way.

He regrets a lot of things. But now he had a home to go to. A family to take care. A wife that loves him and a son that adores him. Gray will not give up these things so he can come back and comfort the now broken Erza Scarlet.

But he wanted to. Oh how he would love to. But she knew he can't. He knew too. In the end, he was just a wimp who gave up something he adored. For someone else that adored him.

Gray took a step back, tipped his head down and the shadows covered his eyes. He returned her previous smile, one that was just as cold, and left. The sound of his shoes against the concrete clicked away. He was gone.

At this, she looked down at the pack of cigarettes at her hand, pulled one out and lit it, and began puffing away. She liked it. The acid smoky taste. The grey clouds of smoke. The feeling of the stick held between her two fingers and the burning small embers.

She took it all in, then stood up. She dropped the cigarette to the ground and cut out the embers with a small press of her shoe. And as she started walking away, only when it started raining, did she let herself crumble down in despair.

* * *

 **I know many will berate me for not updating one of my other fics. But this idea just plunged into my brain and I just had to write it. Reviews would be lovely and really appreciated. Thank you.**


End file.
